The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
