Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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