This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
