The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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