Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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