I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
