Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
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Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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