i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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