I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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