wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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