Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
