Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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