Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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