Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  The maid of honor just puked.

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  (312): The maid of honor just puked. http://tfl.nu/qiyl
  Replies (5) Good night (1953) Bad night (1231)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm at derby!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.

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  (847): I'm at derby! (847): The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time. http://tfl.nu/hrlc
  Replies (9) Good night (1372) Bad night (462)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.

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  (720): How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box. http://tfl.nu/9hzq
  Replies (7) Good night (2749) Bad night (518)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party

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  (225): If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party http://tfl.nu/fuoa
  Replies (28) Good night (4836) Bad night (570)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.

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  (832): The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left. http://tfl.nu/7tek
  Replies (22) Good night (1784) Bad night (10450)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.

  (917): View more from New York City

  So many issues. You honestly need help.

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  (862): I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in. (917): So many issues. You honestly need help. http://tfl.nu/cv7o
  Replies (10) Good night (2447) Bad night (976)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore

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  (313): its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore http://tfl.nu/d5rl
  Replies (5) Good night (588) Bad night (1638)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat

  (1-631): View more from New York

  SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.

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  (631): She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat (1-631): SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT. http://tfl.nu/se9g
  Replies (5) Good night (1292) Bad night (457)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.

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  (701): She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere. http://tfl.nu/am2w
  Replies (3) Good night (2162) Bad night (358)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.

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  (803): I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at. http://tfl.nu/pwf4
  Replies (4) Good night (1010) Bad night (413)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.

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  (512): There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls. http://tfl.nu/qrvu
  Replies (6) Good night (1340) Bad night (405)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it

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  (267): Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it http://tfl.nu/yaso
  Replies (0) Good night (273) Bad night (496)
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  (562): View more from California

  Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...

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  (562): Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell... http://tfl.nu/1xl3
  Replies (0) Good night (251) Bad night (448)
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  (212): View more from New York

  How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?

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  (212): How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour? http://tfl.nu/2ooq
  Replies (6) Good night (471) Bad night (240)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.

  (646): View more from New York

  You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.

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  (718): Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well. (646): You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response. http://tfl.nu/j3cp
  Replies (2) Good night (318) Bad night (184)

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