When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.