just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
