You don't have asthma, your pregnant
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died