Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
