We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
