You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
