could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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