Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I need to stop coming to work sober
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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