I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
