ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
