Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
