Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
