Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
