He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
