I met the friendliest cop last night
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she peed on how many people?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
