sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
