you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
