i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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