My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
