That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
