quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize