people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
