WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
