he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
