i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
