You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
