so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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