I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
