oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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