jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
