If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
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he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
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you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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