She's JV to your varsity
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My cat gives me a boner
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
