Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
