Buhtt sex?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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