I should be sponsored by Trojan
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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