We named our party play list daddy issues
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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