wat bout pragnant strippers??
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
