what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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