This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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