i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
