honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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