why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
