what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We smell like vodka and hangover
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