I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
