Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
All I want is dick and wine.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
