im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
