Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize