I am spending my child support on dildos
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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