Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
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My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize