I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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